


Five Times the Doctor Tried to Establish She Had Superior Breasts (the More Things Stay The Same remix)

by livii



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fluff, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 03:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livii/pseuds/livii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like always, the Doctor's companions get the better of her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times the Doctor Tried to Establish She Had Superior Breasts (the More Things Stay The Same remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AstroGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroGirl/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/30059) by astrogirl. 



> Many thanks to r_lee and nonelvis for beta reading and encouragement! I wrote something this year! :)

**One.**

"Doctor," said Sarah Jane, "it's not just size. Bigger doesn't mean better. And yours aren't that big anyway." Her voice was patient, but with an edge of irritation.

"Well, too big isn't nice anyway," the Doctor said.

Sarah Jane shook her head. "No, they can be very nice. All sizes can be very nice, and all shapes. Breasts are natural and beautiful. There's really no need to compare them."

"It's just that they're so new," the Doctor said. "I'm taking them out for a spin, and I'm trying to get a sense of how lovely they are. This is the first time I've been a woman, you know," she added helpfully.

"I can tell it's your first time," Sarah Jane said. "As lovely as all breasts are, and as reasonably sized as yours are, you're still going to be uncomfortable soon if you don't get a bit of support."

"I thought you were a bra-burner! Women's lib!" The Doctor looked scandalised.

"Trust me on this one," Sarah Jane said, picking up her purse. "We're off to the shops. After that, I'll give you a stern talking-to about feminism and not being such a daft git. Also, I'll show you that mine are naturally much nicer."

Even though the Doctor lost, she felt, somehow, that there had only been winners in that dressing room.

 

**Two.**

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," she said, wiping the dirt from the explosion out of her eyes.

"Which part?" the Doctor asked. "The imminent arrival of the Draconian battle fleet? The instability of the atmosphere on this planet that makes using your Nitro-9 inadvisable? The fact I am now a woman?"

"The part about your breasts being the tops," Ace said. "That's rubbish." She pulled a canister from her backpack.

"Remember how I said that was inadvisable? I meant potentially lethal. Very likely lethal. How about we compare?"

The blast blew them off their feet and left them a bit burnt, but the Draconian advance guard _was_ discouraged from landing and engaging in battle, so the Doctor had to admit, begrudgingly, that it had been worth it.

No comparing took place.

 

**Three.**

"Doctor," Rory said, with as much dignity as he could muster, "I am sure your new breasts are very lovely. However, they can't be lovelier than mine, since _I don't have any_."

The Doctor frowned. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Very," Rory said. 

"Pity," the Doctor replied. "It's very nice. Having breasts, that is."

"I'm sure it is," Rory replied. "Actually, hang on. Is it? This is so weird. Have you had breasts before?"

"No, never," the Doctor replied with enthusiasm. "I'd always figured I would one day, but after so many penises in a row, I was losing confidence. Not," she added, "that penises and breasts are naturally mutually exclusive, but that was the way it seemed to be going for me. Now if only we could do something about the hair colour…" 

"This is," Rory said, "somehow not the strangest conversation I have ever had with you."

"It's a wonderfully fascinating topic, you humans and your gender binaries," the Doctor said. "I do wish Amy were here to discuss it. Plus, I am quite positive that my breasts are much, much nicer than hers."

Rory shook his head. "Not a chance."

The Doctor pouted. 

 

**Four.**

Peri just stared at her, and the Doctor held her hands up in defeat.

 

**Five.**

"Oh, sweetie," River said, laughing with delight, "this is quite the nice surprise."

The Doctor kicked at the ground and scuffed her shoe. "But what's the point of having these lovely breasts if they aren't the best?"

River just smiled. "You never learn, do you? It's not the point, it's never the point. Love your body. You and I both know how it can change; we both are so lucky to have that chance."

The Doctor nodded. "I think I just need to break this body in," she said. "Get used to a different way of being. Really, it's not that different though, is it? And you can give me pointers."

"Of course," River said, smiling widely. She took the Doctor's hand and led her into the TARDIS. "But don't think you can get away with comparing with mine. These are the _best_."

With what River did next, the Doctor was inclined to finally agree.


End file.
